Time's Up, Pencils Down

Lately I've been trying to resuscitate my own murder. I feel for you, but mostly just for them. The names I'm scratching out are only more failed attempts to change the heart I'm buried in. Eventually they'll all want to ask me how I did it.

Let's face it. I have been painted on waves that were born to crash. Shorelines act as positive signs and changes. All the right words are trapped inside a shy throat. Nobody wants me clean. "He was so much more fun hungover."

So for now let us dance alongside the lights until the sun forgets it's job. Lets connect each star in the sky with footsteps. Tonight we will wear the title of the 'it' kids. Rooftops match reputations. Let's make the moon our personal disco ball. November nights are too late for fireworks but lets make them anyway. Just to watch them burn across the skyline and swallow up the city. Scarves and gloves. Cold lips against warm necks. Fingertips along waistlines. And this is me trying to add something in between the good nights and good byes.

Fine lines lay between friction and release. And remember that only the safe keep it simple. Gotta keep telling myself to stay out in left field, behind enemy lines, and on the right side of the fence.

Rainy Day Kids

No one else will understand headlights and yellow lines the way I do. Spilling out hearts between steering wheels and empty swing sets. Our cars collided at precisly the right second, crossing out paths where they need it the most. The more that I write the less shows up. I swear, together we could walk away from every train wreck with just a scratch.

AlphaMaleOmegaLove

4amlife. Everyone is heavy breathing in their sleep as the sun comes up. I want to be them. Keep looking for treasures.

Ladies and Gentlemen.... please put your seats in their upright position. Meet me at baggage claim. Pack light.

Please Send A Torch And Some Faith

Central Park collisions. 8 million people and it had to be the 2 of us. You had me laughing at the way you grovel when there are no microphones or camera flashes in sight. Take a stand. Dot coms refresh for the drama.

And my nosebleeds are oh so appropriate, given the fact that she is always on center stage and I find myself so far away. My best friend has given his approval. She won over left eye and tear drop stripes.

Until she showed up on my canvas I was just a painter without a vision. That's really all that I can admit to. I could learn to read her mind, but all of this reading in the dark has pretty much wrecked my sight. I'm guessing that she is regretting this monster she has created.

He gave me a prescription and said "these will take take care of your shyness." No one really gets that part though. And who ever wanted you to come out of your shell anyhow. Maybe I'm just pretty sure that I am a total bore. And there's nothing tragic at all, this is (I'm) completely ordinary.

Send Me Your Sunsets

Allow a lamb with wings to represent me, because I have become sleeplessness. It's as if I'm currently writing the gospel on staying up. And don't think for a second that just because I am the carrier that you will always be the rescuer. I know some of whats going on is out of reach but come with - because this is going to be the greatest story ever told. Love Hostage.

Right turn breakups and street corner makeups. I'll be the salt in every wound that you have ever had. But lose the fear... I'm just a perfectionist with nothing to back myself up.

Save your sorry's, I'm what you get for building homes inside empty words. That's why I drink liquor straight... so at the next spark I can just spit at their expectations and watch this all burst into flames. Or maybe I'll inhale the flare of fixations and failures just to burn me from the inside out.

Ace of shades. Criminal of hearts. Crasher of clubs. King of diamonds. I'm the full deck. Shuffle me and deal.

Fingers To The Keyboard, Bullet To The Heart

I woke up far away and didn't know which to reach for first... the light or my head. I walked into a city of bright lights and fairy-tale promises. My reflection in passing windows wasn't me at all. It was you. I kept my hands in my pockets. Rain drops floated down and into my eyes to hide my feelings for this place.

In my pocket I found a pen. I wrote '"where are you?'s" along every street light so maybe you could catch shadows. There's something wrong here. I found pieces of the sun along the sidewalk. The moon hasn't moved all night. Every poster and billboard is pictures of us.

Last night I had a dream that I found a string around my wrist that led deep into the sky. I pulled it down and every star crashed into the pavement. Walk away from this disaster already. I decided to skip stones and knocked the city over. I ran as far as I could only to find derailed trains and crashed airliners.

Right now I see you and I dilate.

Since November 14, 2003

Three year love affair and it's our anniversary. Traffic, tension, and the Holland Tunnel. Welcome Home.

Currently scouting locations to melt your heart. And once it's in liquid form we'll toast to the years we've wasted. Before I solidify your heart I want to swim in its imperfections. High Definition Lover. It's all so clear.

When it comes to ways that someone can miss you, I'm Christopher Columbus. I believed in you before we even met. When this is all said and done they'll celebrate a holiday in our name. I only hope that the bars will stay open.

Shutter..Shutter..Click..Click Late night chats into the early morning. She's making mistakes and tabloid headlines with his heart. Time to puncture swelling heads.

I want to be your latest catch phrase. The kind that you repeat unknowingly. The next "uh" or "umm" that comes out of your mouth. Stutter my name.

I heart the way that 7th Ave and Broadway clash at Times Square to form a bow-tie. Symmetrical mistress. Let's watch the ball drop one last time. Let my tombstone read "Drunken Socialite, Sober Recluse, Constant Smile!"

You Can Only Imagine How Jealous My Mouth Is

I've been stashed away for awhile. Like winter clothing. Here's to a new internal season. It has been ice cream headaches and sweet avalanche since the pearls in our shells came out to play. Take out your pencils and place your books beneath your desk. It's time to be tested.

They aren't my secrets to tell. They are my promises to keep. That is how we should always be.

I wish I could get a notary to sign off your attention six months from now. Crush it up, drink it down. You're the only addiction that's ever stuck.

Everyone wants to stand so tall and at the same time question why I'm so willing to throw posture to the wind. Here is the answer. I'm more than aware that hearts without a backbone can not be broken. I'll forever be in a curled up position.

You have me wanting to be rebuilt like a structure from Frank Lloyd Wright's mind.... only without all of the water damage. Or maybe I'll settle for being painted over like a Monet.. only less blurry. Either way I have my own adjustments.

I want to be a constant collage. Lets grab a masterpiece and paste our favorite visions along side. Art as/is progress.... a constant motion... never finished. Galleries are places in which we hang quitters. I say keep them alive. Let us all add to them. Allow me to become your masterpiece. Develop me. Don't ever leave me hanging.

I want to give them all the rush of warm blood like you see in cartoon dogs right before their eyes pop out and all of the bells go off. Thinking of being apart has my head spinning like a car off of an icy guardrail. Show me what you are made of.

Snakes Snails And Puppy Dog Tails

When I dream I find myself placing you in bones of middle fingers and unopened letters. It is my hope that you will use one to open the other. String together sentences that only golden ears will hear... let me know I'm not passing love notes to empty desks.

You are my makeshift metronome. TickTickTickTick....

Laughter has saved me. Laughter and large crowds and eyes running with tears and giggles and hiding under sheets and shooting rockets with cameras attached and fake fights. It is the run on sentences in here that allow me to break free of the rules out there. Make me feel alive, make me get my point across. This is all for when my child struggles to find its way in the world. This is my "I was once there."

Living down to their expectations. That's what I'm best at. Hum a few bars and I'll fake it. If I put my hand up, I can blot out the sun, but not the light. This is a common side effect of delusions of grandeur. Third(wheel) degree burns and retinal damage.

I am the chair to your standing promise. Take it and break it. It's a two-for-one discount. Another mis-step in a series.

Sometimes cheek kiss goodbyes catch the corners of lips and its just the secret of those two forever. Pulled the sign off of my back that read: Save Me. Why am I so in love with the rescuers?

TheseWordsAreLoaded

Cue The Dream Sequence

The tires beating on the highway remind me of everything. Like the way that the evening lights on Fripp let me know where I should always be.

My lately's consist of road trips, good friends and the The Gilmore Girls 1st Season DVD's. The beach, board games, and regrets about an admission in the previous sentence. Flashlight dances and bottle rocket photographs from 500 feet. 11 crabs, feeding deer potato chips, and upset stomachs... which only feel better when laying in laps across the backseat.

My thinking is set in a pattern that only I wear. I can't make you like it because it doesn't suit the way your hips curve, and it certainly doesn't bring out your eyes.

I am just a guy caught up in the scene with a knack for putting words together and a habit of never thinking before I speak.

The best truths come from the best liars, even though it's not from their mouths.

The thinner the blood the further away I am... at least when my head is concerned. And you know how much I love departures.

BetweenArms. The way that she has these words dancing through my head is only proof that she is every great instrumental.

I Have Winter In My Pocket And Great Adventure In My Genes

Call me old fashioned, cliche, or repetitive.... but never careless. I've become used to counting the steps from the door to her room, just for those mornings when my vision is too blurred to see through the living room to the front door.

Loyal eyes spotted you and contacted my ears. I've caught you in the act. Covering up doesn't mean closing your eyes and counting to three. It's cute that you still believe in such things. But I have a feeling that when you open up, nothing will be as you wished.

Tonight will be all about yellow rain boots, and slow dancing.

Come clean or I'll confront you among the masses. Sticks and stones are way to obvious. Pick up the truth and hurl it in my direction. I'm a vampire baby, and your stake is coming clean. Crawl on top, count to three, and thrust your confessions into my chest. The nosebleeds are only me feeding upon myself.

We are supposed to allow our sparks to fly and set this world on fire. We could be this amazing disaster. We've got forever written all over us. Until then I'll be standing on your doorstep, trying to feel the earth shake.

Counting Down To Fripp

I am blue waves across the red root-like veins in the bodies drawn flat in medical books. I wonder at the way that someone can write thousands and thousands of pages about my insides. I only love how the words feel in my head when I write them.

When I met you I gave you a name. Not your own... but in my head so I wouldn't ever mix you up with anyone so ordinary.

I had been watching you from afar. Love through a telescopic lens. Until late one night while the rest of the ship was sleeping, you cast your spell on me.

Now you're like a light switch. I just want to turn you on and watch all of the rest of them shrink away. I feel safe when you're around. Not safe like a bet.... more like the way mothers feel when they lock the car doors in bad neighborhoods. Smiles grace my face when you cross my mind. Your happiness is the orchestra and I am the conductor.

Everything behind my eyelids is a machine that only moves for her.

Unzip Me And See The Heart That Reads "Always"

The real me is built more like a treasure chest. I'll probably be valued more when buried. Oh the things they find when they dig.

The ending makes all of the difference. Think about the meaning behind a simple phrase... "Get Me"... the way it sets itself in opposition when you change it's ending from a question mark to an exclamation point. From insecure to demanding.

I stopped breathing when I heard you say I don't care anymore. Matching red drops to the flow of water, blending red into orange and brown. My Fall colors.

Hiding out in words and planning my escape in paragraphs. Dropping notes for strangers. Picking up hints from familiar faces... but we both know you can't spell familiar without "liar."

DontLetMeSleep

Keypads and "My Bads"

I was standing on my deck looking over the lake when I noticed that there are two roses growing beside the dock. Even in the middle of Fall they are intertwined, wrapped around each other for support. I've named them after us.

You never needed a knight in shining armor. You just needed someone to hand you your own sword. You already know that I have mine... this pen. Thank you for keeping my blade sharp.

Vines are vibrant and so entangled in my head. Uprooting my heart, allowing it to pour from my fingertips. Onto this screen. The blood in my veins is humid, causing my thoughts to stick together. The world is currently calling collect to ask me if I've given you my heart.. I'm refusing to accept the charges.(Guilty)

Whoever thought capsules of red look better in a bottle than on my tongue was a liar or a fool. I'm going to slide by you real fast to track down a waitress. If you see her first make sure she knows I drink my love straight up, on the rocks. No chaser. It's all coming up later anyway. Either in bathroom stalls or in the form of words on paper.

I combine the alcohol of affection with the pills of sleep more thoroughly than I mix my metaphors. I'm such a lush of emotion. I never get wasted on anything but these knots in my stomach, the continuous sparks in my chest, and the words I find written, stashed in my pockets. I'm such a slut for vernacular. A lexicon whore, prose prostitute.

Before you my whole life just felt like one big apology.

SleepOverPrince

Note 2 Self. I Miss You Terribly

I'll play the role of the cellphone, you play the dead zone... since I'm constantly searching for a signal when you are near. Using up all of my energy, down to the last bar. I'm setting a privacy lock on myself so you can only turn me on. Take me to a place where I can get good reception. Recharging is so ordinary. Drain the life from me. Throw me in the lake when you're done.

I'm just another regular decorated emergency. You are a case study for everyone in the medical field.

I have childhood blood on my hands that even the chlorine couldn't erase. Still waiting for him to resurface, I'll be keeping watch over the nearest body of water. Draining all sinks and bathtubs, brushing soap suds and bubbles to the side reaching for his hand.

ImMyOwnBetterHalf

Their grip on my shoulders shaking me for an answer I still don't have. Memories of mumbling words to an officer as they rolled you away. The sheets were wet and shown through. Our last goodbye. Red White and You. So much hatred for the deep END.

Today we're lighting candles for you... but instead of being on the top of cakes, our flames are resting a top Bible's opened to your favorite verse. I'm burning 2. One atop your verse, and one atop of Proverbs 28:17 for me.

CrackCaveFall

Welcome To The Lips and Hips Parade

Stumbling through haunted houses, paying only attention to the way my blood seems to get confused when we hold hands. Admiring the way our veins align. So perfect. I like the air best when it is circulated through your body first. The faint smell that is underneath your ear and between your shoulders makes me feel like this could last.

Any darkness in my heart just fell and went idle, defenses down. Here's to proving them all wrong. Remind them that the underdogs will always be the ones with the bite. I don't even care where I am geographically as long as I'm located somewhere in your mind.

Tonight regret is resting itself on the tip of the tongue of another, and love is laying somewhere between that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach and the confessional booth you'll face on your wedding day. Relax babe, this is not a cheaper version of passion. That would lead to meaningless scratches on bedposts and backbones.

This is the truest form of passion. The Casablanca kind. The type that made Rick tell a lie and let Ilsa return to Victor.

LongHaulLover

I'm Just The Medicine You Take When You're Down

The cold is settling in and my teeth are chattering their own rhythms, much like morse code. Patterns grouped in twos and threes. Drive my heart to the nearest liquor store, then light the match that we both know you've been saving.

I think New York is going to come sooner than expected. I don't see color here anymore. Just Grey lights contrasting against the 'get out or die' signs. Compasses built with broken arrows in a room with broken light bulbs. Please tell me Grey can turn itself to gold.

I think I dreamt you up because I spend most of my days just waiting around for you to reappear. My head full of thoughts that I'm afraid to write down, because I just might lose it all. This is the part where you ask me to be your forever.

There are champagne flutes and decks of cards and smiles behind glossed lips. There are wants and desires, and there is this one mad plan of mine that I just want to follow until I die.

There is a dizzy spell approaching and it's going to be named after you and everything that I have put you through. Nostalgia never meant much to me until I saw your name in lights. But I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose than to have never laid next to.

I'll see you next Summer. First pew on the right. Wear your white veil and don't forget the words.

ForeverASleepWalker

I Can Never Fall Apart Because I've Never Been Together

Spitting upon lottery tickets and busting the wrists of palm readers. I'm currently attempting to get over myself, but I never really was one to take the high road. So it's proving to be quite the challenge.

The best lies are the ones we sell ourselves. And the best secrets are the ones we let out for the world to hear. My vocal chords are in the locker room lacing up their gloves. They should be making their way to the ring any second.

My eyes are burning red from trying to see this through. And don't bother, I'd just kill the messenger that you send. If you can't deliver it yourself then it was all meaningless. Bones, hearts, and homes. All are there to be broken.

Learning that life is not really measured by the number of breaths that we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. I already know the mistakes that I'm going to make because they are crucial to me.

My whole life is resting on the tip of my tongue.

Escape Button Love

Hiding behind a keyboard from the fact that story book romances end in sweet catastrophe. Trying to forget that the diamonds eventually become dull, refusing to sparkle in the moonlight... tears are the exact opposite. Maybe she's hungry for a heartbreak.... to be just a bottom drawer memory. Friends don't let friends get famous.

Fell asleep in the mirror the other day, sick to death of comparing myself. Starting to feel like every word has already been written. I'm not always the person I want to be... but you make me want to be him.

Silly boy, all this is ever gonna get you is carpal tunnel and bad eyesight. You only know how to manipulate your lungs with thoughts of her.

I wish I was the mirror reflecting you back so I could make your eyes look carefree. The way I think of you is billboard big, only I could never tell anyone. It's all "if they could see us now"s versus "they'd be spinning in their graves."

Penned in on all sides. Lets split town. "Better in the long run" always means taking it slow. Craving a quick sprint. Beating hearts and careless desire.

I wonder how the pharaohs would feel if they realized they never made it across to the other side... They are sitting on the third floor of the natural history museum. Forever.

Lipstick Wishes And Messages Across My Mirror

Make a mix tape for the drive. Cover the road in hope. Apparently there's more than one of you. Or so say the broken hearted kids screaming through my speakers.

No more tears like razorblades since we've been together. Their cuts across my lips only added to the blood I'd spilled from biting my tongue for three years. Hearts and sentences, complete them both.

Rise and shine with cheese and cracker snacks. Tame our stomachs. A lazy couch afternoon for two. Draping ourselves across each other. Scratching backs and heads and things off of our list of things to do. It should always be this comfortable.

Love is a killer and I'm guilty for murder. You and me between the sheets. Lets crash hips and keg parties.

Different Names For The Same Things

This week I am playing the role of tired words and the same hope-filled thoughts. The director says I was born to play this part. I mostly agree, and bury myself back in my script...

CUT TO: Me with my eyes closing and my hands getting heavy, letting my fingers do the talking in the middle of the afternoon. Stashing journals throughout the internet... then getting mad at myself for not remembering any of the passwords.

I work vampire hours thinking of her. On my best day, when all the planets have aligned, I still couldn't come close to touching her.

It's a never-ending fairy tale and my princess is no longer missing in action. This heart is finally taking a walk on it's own, not relying on my brain for a pulse all of the time.

Scattered X,Y graph - destination: laughter. Lucky charms and broken hearts all lie in fields filled with ticking clocks and shattered memories. This blood is liquid nitrogen, icy like a river in winter that will never slow down.

Beating them down one by one until it's just you and me.

VampiresUniteTonight