Envelopes Postmarked To Nowhere

To me their eyes just appear like pills. It's funny. Almost as if the blue ones take to you down and the brown ones are around to pick you up. It doesn't even make a whole lot of sense looking back on it now. And when the truth is told it will include the fact that there are a couple of sets of eyes that are like bookmarks in each of our lives. They are there to mark the chapters. Highlights so you pay attention to the changes. Dogeared pages.

Like the reflection I saw in her eyes the first time... you know... when all of the blood ran out of me. Standing there in the arch of her doorstep with the biggest eyes that trusted and believed and dreamed and hoped and lived.... So I blinked. I faked like I couldn't tell. I was always so god damned scared to see my own flaws reflected on them. And I cant count the times I crushed them. And I realize that they will never look up to me the same.

After awhile when you bounce back and forth between different hearts nothing gets old. You never really have to mean anything to anyone. Maybe she has intimacy problems with the world?

Her eyes are blackened around the edges so much that in the morning she looks like a raccoon. They look like permanent black eyes.. The consummate victim. Everybody loves the victim. She looks independent in a very vulnerable way. The safest kind of dangerous.

We’re sitting on the edge of her bed. I'm reminded of the fact that every single inch on our bodies is filled with millions of nerves.... and that somewhere inside our brains, neurons have fired to synapses and put them on alert. That must be why when my hands brush hers it feels electric. Every movement has a meaning, either yes or no. And every time she moves her hand to her hair it feels like she is sending signals. Stay or leave. Why can’t I figure them out.

There she was sitting in front of me, knee pulled up to to her chin, probably thinking of something or someone else. And thats how she will be stuck in my mind forever. Two explorers in the dark, mapless and hopeless. We're not just taking trips down memory lane, we are broken down on it.

My new favorite things are doll face dreams and giving in.

GiveLoveThenTakeItAway