The First Rule Is Don't Sleep

Darling, this is an attempt at love, not a contest. And every breath I take is carefully guided from my lips to yours. The lack of affection is pushing me backwards in a direction of self-doubt. Sometimes I feel like you might be ashamed of me.

Every time I keep my heart open all that comes in is disappointment. I tried shutting the windows so that I’m only able to see you, but you're not close enough to touch… This is how I should keep you always, just beyond my fingertips where you can never belong to anyone else. Tonight it's tired eyes vs. tired sighs and I’m betting on red. I love how every word you speak I misunderstand. I can only see the bad in myself, you have to tell me the rest, when we're only separated by a windowsill, and my hand is the one pressed against the glass.

Tonight makes sense in tongues and riddles over the airwaves… inside jokes no one else will ever understand but her.

I’m starting to believe that I’m the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

Funny how you only have dreams when your eyes are closed.

Right now I feel like I’m around for when you’re bored, when you’ve flipped through the channels three times without finding one to stop on, when the hangover wears off at 3pm and when your friends are with their other friends and there’s no cheeks or lips to kiss but the ones on me you turn away. I’m out of my head trying to be in yours.

So pull the covers up over your head and drown out the daylight and the phrase "I love you" traced on your windowsill from the hand you’re currently holding. Sleep through this.

SunBetweenTheClouds